11:55

A jubilee story

There was a garden party at Buckingham Palace. It was in full swing when round the corner came a snarl of corgis, followed by Her Majesty. One of the corgis took a shine to a guest's leg and proceeded to hump against it with vigour leaving its owner in a state of some embarrassment.

'I think you'll find he'll stop it if you kick his balls', ventured the Monarch by way of advice.

Protocol now established, the guest let loose a kick that sent the corgi howling towards its owner. The tense silence that followed was broken by one of the most famous voices in the world.

'His balls are on the lawn....'
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